The Real Abuse of Abused Children?

I was reading a Christian fiction book recently (my favorite type of reading) and it brought forth an interesting concept called: The Real Abuse of Abused Children. Now, although this was a fiction book, it brought up some very real issues. It asked, are biological parents really the best for abused children who end up in foster care?

If you ask Department of Child Services (DCS), or other sectors of the government that deal with child welfare, this question, I think the most likely answer would be yes. But, I beg to differ. Children should be removed from the home the first time harm occurs, while the child is still young enough to find an adoption placement. With each passing year, the odds of a troubled child finding an adoptive home diminish by 20%. At age 2, most children will find permanent loving homes. But after age 5? Most children are too old and too jaded to ever fit into a loving adoptive family, thanks to DCS. It is not right to think that no matter what happens, the child belongs with their biological mother.

I am praying that God will change the minds of those who can make a difference. When we first became foster parents, we learned that the primary goal of foster care is for the child to reunify with their biological parent. But, after fostering a child, I am not so sure that this decision is best for the child. As I think I mentioned before, there are approximately 500,000 children in foster care in the United States. 40% of the children are older than 13 years of age and the average age of a child in foster care is 10 years old. The average amount of time a child spends in foster care is 28 months with 3 different placements (moving around from family to family). Why are they in foster care so long? They are waiting for their parent to get their act together so they can return to their biological family. They are waiting to reunify with their biological parent.

What if their parent never gets their act together and parental rights are eventually terminated? At this point, most children wait at least 5 years to be adopted, move at least 3 times in foster care and become separated from their siblings. By this time, they are most likely a troubled teen. This makes it very difficult for them to assimilate into a healthy productive adoptive family. And studies have shown that foster children that "Age out" of foster care at age 18 are more likely (compared to the general public) to not finish high school, be unemployed and be dependent on public assistance.

It seems possible that if we change our way of thinking and allow these children to be adopted sooner, we can make the most impact and really change a child's life forever. The main goal should be to place children in safe, loving homes with a forever family. A family where they don't have to worry if they will be neglected or abused. Being biologically related does not necessarily accomplish this goal and may not be in the best interests of the child.