Dispelling the Myths

This post was inspired by conversations with many different friends. When I asked a friend of mine if she would ever consider adopting, she responded with: "Oh, no, I don't desire to parent an old or special needs child. If I were going to adopt, I would want a healthy baby, and only rich people can afford to adopt healthy babies."

Another friend mentioned that she was dissuaded from adpoting a child domestically because of she did not want an open adoption.

Realizing that 40% of Americans consider adoption, but only 1% actually adopt, I thought to myself: "You need to dispel the myths of adoption." Education is empowering. Perhaps knowing the truth will encourage more people to adopt, and maybe it won't. But, in the end, at least more people will be making their choice based on truth.

Myth: There are no infants being placed for adoption.
Fact: Every year, at least 20,000 U.S. born infants are placed for adoption. The same is true in international adoption.

Myth: Adoption is so expensive, it is out of reach for most families.
Fact: The cost of adoption is often the same as giving birth. The only difference is, there is no "adoption insurance" like there is health insurance. Adopting from foster care is virtually free. In addition, many employers offer adoption benefits and Congress passed legislation giving a tax credit to families who adopt.

Myth: Birthparents can show up at any time to reclaim their child.
Fact: Once the adoption is legally finalized, the adoptive family is the child's family.

Myth: I can't love an adopted child as much as I would a biological child.
Fact: Having a biological child does not guarantee love and attachment. If you are married, look at your spouse. Are they related to you biologically? No. (Hopefully your answer is no!) Do you love them with your whole being? Yes. (Your answer on this should be yes!) Or, how about best friends, Godchildren or pets? I have all these people in my life that I love with my whole heart, and they are not biologically related to me.

Myth: Open adoption means my child's birthparent and biological extended family (Great Aunt Sally and everyone else....) will be celebrating holidays and birthdays with us.
Fact: There are many levels of open adoption. The most common means that you send letters and pictures once a year to your child's birthparent. This can be done through the adoption agency and you don't have to have "actual" contact at all.

Myth: Adopted children have more problems than biological children. They experience trouble with drugs, alcohol, relationships, mental illness, etc.
Fact: I am a firm believer in the power of God and the ability to train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6) Research also shows that adopted children are just as well-adjusted as their non-adopted peers.

For us, adoption is a faith walk. And we know that since He has given us this desire, He is going to walk with us and give us all the tools we need to achieve it. Psalm 20:4 - May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.

Just Finished Reading.....

I don't usually read non-fiction books, but this was a great book. I read it in 3 days! Russell Moore does an excellent job of recounting the adoption of his two sons from Russia. At the same time, he uses the parallel of our adoption as sinners into the grace of God. I could really identify with him as he told of the joys, struggles and disappointments that may surround the adoption process.

At this point in our adoption journey, I really enjoyed the chapter "Paperwork, Finances, and Other Threats to Personal Sanctification." I am sure I will revisit this book many times over the next few years, but this chapter was helpful in addressing the waiting process. For those of you who have been pregnant and could barely wait 9 months to meet your child, imagine waiting 17 months. I think this will be one of the hardest things. It is almost unimaginable to me. However, Russell Moore brings up some interesting points. He talks about how Jacob, in the Bible, worked for fourteen years for permission from Rachel's father for Rachel's hand in marriage (Genesis 29:1-30). If Jacob can do that, I know God has given us the strength and support needed for our wait. And, it will be worth it. Russell Moore reminds us that God is asking us to do this and therefore, we should do it with joyfulness and gratitude. "...work hard and with gladness all the time, as though working for Christ, doing the will of God with all your hearts." Ephesians 6:6-7 At the conclusion of the book, I realized that the most wonderful thing about adoption, is that it is a picture of the family of God. All believers are adopted, become co-heirs with Jesus and become children of God!

Update on our adoption process: we got fingerprinted yesterday, by the FBI, for the Department of Homeland Security/Immigration Services. It will take about 1.5 months for our fingerprints to be approved. In the meantime, next week, we will be attending adoption preparation classes on international adoptions and what it means to be an adoptive parent! Yes, I enjoy classes, what can I say? How else could I have completed almost 30 years of school?!? :)

Reminder Of Why Ethiopia

Whenever I get weary, frustrated or distracted from our Ethiopian adoption process, I watch this video as a reminder of our dedication to the task God has set before us.
This video is a great representation of what our adoption agency is doing in order to stop the orphan crisis that is currently occuring in Ethiopia.