Expectation

Received in the mail Saturday, February 27, 2010: Form I-171H - Notice Of Favorable Determination Concerning Application for Advance Processing Of Orphan Petition. What does that mean? We have been approved by the US government to adopt an orphan! In the adoption world, this is a big milestone. It means we are officially on the wait list for our child.

It also means I am experiencing all the emotions that an expectant mother may feel. As one friend said to me on Sunday, with shock and amazement in her voice: "You're going to be a mom!" As an expectant first time mom, I am dealing with a cornucopia of emotions:

1. Extreme and unadulterated happiness - After being married for 10 years, I am so excited to see my husband in a way I have never known him before. I am expecting God to do miraculous things for our family!

2. Anxiety - Who will take care of the child when both husband and I are at work? How will having a child affect our professional careers? Will I be a good mom? What are the best products on the market for our child? How will this baby affect our marriage?

3. Ambivalence - Am I really ready for the sleep deprivation that no one seems prepared for? How about not having any time for anything other than baby? In the end, I know that we will gain more than we could ever lose!

I thought this ultrasound picture was a good representation of the emotions swirling around inside of me. No, it is not the traditional ultrasound picture, but it does convey that I am pregnant....pregnant with expectation.

Romans 8:19 - The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed.