My Life As A MoM (Mom Of Multiples!)

I don't know if anyone out there is still reading this blog.  Things were very busy for a while and now we have started to settle into a routine.  Don't get me wrong, things are still very busy, but having a routine helps everything be more manageable!  While I will still write about adoption, I have decided to also write about occasional life and mommy of multiples things!

Until I became a mom of twins I never realized how many people are clueless about twins and more specifically fraternal twins.  While it is true that we do not have DNA evidence that our twins are fraternal, I think it is obvious from their appearance that they are fraternal twins.  Whenever I am out with my twins, people always seem surprised that my children are twins.  They will ask multiple times and hubby and I will answer multiple times, "yes, they are twins."  I think people expect same gender twins to look alike, but fraternal twins are not the same as identical twins.

I have also been asked the weirdest things.  For instance, a few weeks ago a man asked me: "Are they identical or maternal?"  Trying not to laugh, I responded: "You mean fraternal?"

Strangers also seem obsessed with knowing who was born first.  We don't know for sure since we weren't there.  So our response is usually: "we don't know."  I have had all kinds of responses after that from: "well, someone had to be born first" to silence and incredulous looks that say I must be a bad parent to not know which child came into the world first.  My thoughts are, when we first learned about our children, I did not care who came first.  Healthy baby boys with enough food to eat was my prayer.

So what are fraternal twins?  Fraternal twins are two individual people conceived at the same time, from two different eggs and two different sperm.  Without going into too much detail from middle school health class :), fraternal twins are the ones thought to have a genetic component.  The tendency to release two eggs at one time has a basis in genetics, whereas one embryo splitting into two is thought to be a random event. 

Our twin boys are very different.  One has tight curly hair; the other has looser curly hair.  One is 3 inches taller and 3 pounds heavier than the other.  The shape of their lips and ears are different (can you tell I have stared at them immensely?).  Their body types, skin color and personalities are different.  They have gained different developmental skills at different times.  The way they eat and their food preferences are different.  And on and on and on.  In fact, I would have to think really hard to find something that is the same about them.

The one thing that is the same is that we thank God everyday for his double blessing of twin boys! 

Lesotho

New African country open for international adoption!

Read all about it here

International Adoption Outlook

Would-Be Parents Wait As Foreign Adoptions Plunge | Minnesota Public Radio News

If you are considering international adoption (yes, the politically correct term is "international adoption" not "foreign adoption" as MPR calls it).......the future does not look promising.  So glad God allowed us to adopt our twins from Ethiopia.

Hiatus

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to let you know that I will most likely be taking a hiatus from the blogging world.  Life with twins is superbusy.  Plus, I originally started this blog due to my passion for orphans and adoption.  I wanted to use this blog as a ministry tool for foster care, adoption and orphan care and as a memoir for our adopted child (which turned out to be children!:). 

Well, the adoption is over....we have finished our adoption journey, praise God!  I do not feel led to turn this into a "mommy blog".  My passion for foster care, adoption and orphan care still remains, so this will remain an adoption blog.  If something interesting comes up related to foster care, adoption or orphan care, I will post here. :)

Back to Ethiopia!

Remember that timeline I gave?  Where our agency said it would take 6-10 months from referral to bringing our twins home?  Remember when I said this time would be broken up up into two trips?  Trip #1 - 3-5 months after referral, Trip #2 - 2-4 months after court?  Well, nevermind!!!  Our timeline since referral has gone a little something like this: Trip #1 - 2 months after referral, Trip #2 - 6 weeks after court!!!!!!!!!!  That's right, we are leaving this week to bring our babies home to America!  It has only been 3.5 months from referral to bringing our twins home!  The favor of God is amazing!  We can't wait to see what God will do next.  Pictures will be posted here when we get back!   

The Nursery

We are slowly but surely getting the nursery together.  Grandmother (my mom) has purchased the cribs and bedding and we have purchased the mattresses.  We also spent some time at the mall this Mother's Day weekend and Grandmother bought some clothes for the twins (Grandmother loves to shop! :)

This was an interesting first Mother's Day for me.  I have been so grateful and thankful to God for our two boys.  We have known for a while that adopting from Ethiopia was God's plan for our family.  However, a few things have happened recently that have solidified that certainty in our hearts.  One such thing is that on Thursday, 3 weeks after our adoption became final, our agency announced that they are closing their doors to accepting new applications for adoption from Ethiopia.

We don't believe this timing is a coincidence.  Since we have completed our adoption and are just now waiting on the US Embassy to do their part, this closure should not affect us.  We believe God allowed us to get our boys out before allowing this closure to happen.  My heart does hurt for those families still waiting for children from Ethiopia and for those families for whom Ethiopia is no longer an option.

Many people asked today if it was hard leaving our twins in Ethiopia and celebrating Mother's Day without them.  It has been hard, however, it is amazing that God has given me a peace that surpasses all understanding:

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus - Philippians 4:7

It was also very beneficial to travel to meet our twins and see the wonderful loving environment that they are in.  The resources are not plentiful but the love and care they are receiving is abundant.  One of the nannies who cares for our children is a Christian and that also gives us comfort.  God has provided for them before we even knew these children existed and we know that He will continue to watch over them. 

Let me leave you with these verses as a cure for anxiety and worry :)

For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?  And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?  And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!  Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’  For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own - Matthew 6:25-34

Kudos to Pampers!

I love this commerical. Thank you Pampers for recognizing all the different ways babies can join a family. And, yes, we registered for Pampers! :)

A Life Changing Journey

Sorry I have not blogged in forever. Once we received news of our court date for April 18, 2012, everything was pushed into overdrive! We just arrived back to America after spending an amazing 2 weeks in Ethiopia (and a side trip to the UAE) meeting our twins. There are not enough words to explain what this experience was like. Our twins are beautiful, healthy and happy. After 10 days of bonding with them, they seemed to quickly be attaching to us. They were not happy when we were holding them and others tried to hold them! I know this may sound awful to some, but it is definitely a good sign of attachment to us. We tried not to overdo it though, because we did not want them to be inconsolable once we were gone. Unfortunately, I still can not post identifying pictures here (which is unfortunate, because we took about 25 photos/day!), but here is a sneak preview of their little feet! :)

We spent most of our days in Ethiopia holding our twins, playing with them, taking pictures and videos of them rolling over, feeding them, etc. It was wonderful!! On April 18, 2012, we went to court and became the legal parents of our twins. We have named them also and I will be announcing it here soon! :)

Please continue to pray that they remain healthy and that the nannies taking care of them continue to be a blessing to them. Also, please pray for us as we have much to do before bringing the twins home in a few months. Nursery is empty at this point. There a few things in the closet, but that is it.

Many have asked about when the baby shower will be. So far, no plans for a baby shower. As far as I know, no one throws a shower for themself. And even if it were okay to throw one for yourself, at this point, I do not have the time or motivation to plan one for myself. I did have some amazing friends and work colleagues that gave us donations to take to the orphanage in Ethiopia! That was such a blessing to us!  If you would like to send a gift in celebration of our twins, we are registered at Walmart and Amazon.com

God Did It Again!

A startling answer to prayer: we received notice of our court date this week.....we leave in about 2 weeks for Ethiopia! Totally unexpected on our part because our agency had told us 3-5 months until first trip, but it will have only been 2 months!

Thank you God! And thank you to all of you who have joined us in prayer on this long journey. If you wouldn't mind, keep praying! :)

Update!

Many of you have been asking about next steps. There are many next steps, but to simplify things, there are two major next steps: 1) court and 2) embassy. Right now, the Ethiopian government is reviewing our dossier and all of the paperwork on our twins. After they find it satisfactory, they will issue us a court date.

Once we are assigned a court date, we will travel to Ethiopia, go to court and confirm that we want to adopt those particular children. After that, the twins will be legally ours! Then, on the American side, the US Embassy will review all of the paperwork and issue visas and passports for our children. Then the US Embassy will invite us to come for an interview. That will be our second trip to Ethiopia where we will pick up our children and bring them back home! This entire process is estimated to take 6-10 months, but we are already a month in, so 5-9 months from now we are planning to have our twins home!

In other news, we received a monthly update on our babies this week. It was a nice surprise. I think our agency likes to prepare us for the worst and then when the worst does not happy, we are pleasantly surprised. They told us "we ask for monthly updates from the orphanage, but we don't always get them." So, it was a nice surprise to have an update on our babies and they are doing well!

Hubby and I appreciate all of the support and encouragement you have shown us. Please pray that God continues to keep His hedge of protection around our babies.

Photo Album for Baby.....I Mean Babies! :)

Yes, Hubby has had to correct me multiple times. For example, I often say: "......Blah, blah, blah our child." Hubby says: "Don't you mean our children?!?" Oh, yes, that's right....TWINS! Still reeling from the very wonderful double blessing from God!

We received a travel packet from our agency. It consists of a 56 page document to read in preparation for travel, applications to apply for our VISA, and a host of other paperwork that needs to be filled out (I won't bore you with the details). Hubby and I have already gotten our vaccinations so we are ready to travel whenever our agency calls us!

One thing that we are preparing to take our twins is a photo book. Almost every agency requires this (and even if it wasn't required, we would do this). This will be a photo album containing pictures of people and places that will be important to them. Here is a picture of a cute photo album I found and ordered (after hubby reminded me to order 2! :) When we are in Ethiopia, we will take pictures with our babies and be able to add to the photo album so the babies can see pictures with Mommy and Daddy too. That way, even though we will have to leave them, they will know they are ours and we will be coming back for them. The best thing about this photo album is that we can record our voices so the babies can begin getting used to us. So excited to begin preparations for our babies!

24

Side note: I wrote this post Oct. 31, 2011 in anticipation of us receiving our referral today! GOD IS SO AWESOME! I wrote this post just a few weeks after our babies were born. We didn't know our babies had been born, but God knew! I also had no idea we would receive a referral in February. I hoped and believed and God has honored our faithfulness. I love you my baby boys! Always put your trust and faith in God! Love Mommy (and Daddy :)

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Today (Feb. 18, 2012) marks 24 months of waiting from the day our dossier was complete. That doesn’t count the 4 months it took us from the day we started researching adoption, picked an agency and sent in our application papers to the day our first dossier was complete. It also doesn’t count the numerous years of my childhood when I dreamed of the day I would adopt (since I was 13 years old).

So, looking at the bigger picture, it feels like it has been decades of waiting.

And today, (just like when mothers forget the pain of labor) all the angst of waiting fell away! FOUR DAYS AGO WE RECEIVED OUR REFERRAL (yes, on Valentine's Day, God chose to give us a great gift of love!!) Our dreams are coming true. We have been referred the most beautiful 4 month old baby boys! Yes, we have twins! Words can not express the joy we are feeling right now! Thank you GOD!

Contentment

Dossier is almost done. Tomorrow our dossier will be couriered to the Ethiopian Embassy in Washington DC to be authenticated. All documents that have to be used in Ethiopia have to be authenticated by the Embassy of the Federal Democratic Republic of Ethiopia in Washington, D.C.

We have had a few conversations with our agency lately about what the situation is like in Ethiopia since the Southern/Sidama region has closed to adoption. The agency keeps encouraging us to wait just a little longer and tells us that they feel we are so close. Hubby and I continue to pray and we feel at peace waiting for our Ethiopian child.

Our agency is no longer giving estimated wait times because they have been so wrong in the past. When we first started our wait 2 years ago, they estimated that our wait would be 1 year, 1.5 years at the most. I also think they have finally accepted that only God knows when our child will come to us.

Here is a good article I found that explains about the situation regarding adoptions in Ethiopia. Of course it is not the whole story, but I think it gives a good overview of some of the challenges facing prospective international adoptive parents today.

The verse that is currently helping me through this time:

But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment - I Timothy 6:6

Dossier Deadline

So we were scheduled to turn in our updated dossier January 13, 2012. With the move and the Holiday seasons, that did not happen. We are still working through it. We were told as long as we get it in next month we should be okay. So that's the update for those of you who asked how the paperwork is coming along. We are getting there!

Christmas and Ethiopia

Well we are moving again this Christmas season! So much can happen in a year. We were moving to a new city this same time last year. We have bought a new house here in our new city and we will be moving and preparing another nursery for our Ethiopian child. Hopefully this time, we really will be bringing our child home to this house! :)

So, yes, this moving means we have to have another homestudy update, another USCIS approval update and a dossier update!! All of this (plus moving to a new house) has to be done by January 13, 2012. Why, you ask, does it have to be done by January 13? Because for the first time ever, we are within the range of receiving a referral!!!

Obviously I don't have much time to write on this blog with all that has been going on lately, but I did want to post this picture. If you get caught up in the spending of Christmas that so many Americans take part in, please remember and celebrate the real reason for the season, the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

Orphan Sunday

I wrote the following post a while back and forgot to publish it! So, November 6 has passed, but you can still make a difference! The orphans are still out there!
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Orphan Sunday is this Sunday, November 6. Orphan Sunday is a chance to bring awarenss to the needs of the orphans. It is our role as Christians to care for orphans - Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world
(James 1:27).

In the times when the Bible was being written, it was up to the church to look after orphans and widows. In current times, most widows have some form of life insurance or other savings from their spouse. However, the plight of the orphan has not changed. It is still up to us to care for the orphan.

Psalms 127: 3-5 - Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. Notice the similar "1:27 (James), 127 (Psalms)". Could these two verses be related? Now I am not saying every Christian needs to adopt an orphan (although that sure would help the 140 million orphans that are in the world), but I do think there are many verses in the Bible (including these two verses) that definitely stress the importance that God places on taking care of children, especially orphans.

Isaiah 1:17 - Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.

I have no more words. Will you watch the video below and then pray and ask God how you can help?

Testimony

Well, for some time, I have struggled with writing this testimony. But, early this morning, God urged me to write this testimony for someone who may be struggling with finances and adoption. I always believed that I would be an adoptive mother. God revealed this to me when I was 13 years old. However, when the time came for Hubby and I to pursue adoption, I was held back by the cost of adoption. Hubby continued to encourage me and would say "I am not too concerned about the cost of adoption."

In October 2009, we decided to step out on faith and pursue an adoption from Ethiopia. When we started the process, Hubby had just lost his job 3 months before and had decided to start his own business. Also, at the same time, I moved from a full-time job to a part-time job. Our total income was decreased by 75%! Imagine living on 1/4 of what you currently make.

BUT GOD!!! When we decided to step out on faith and listen to God, He took care of us! Matthew 6:25-27 says “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

In a March 2010 post I talk about how the adoption tax credit (ATC) was extended and increased. Now, the ATC has been extended again to December 31, 2012. And because God can do exceedingly and abundantly more than you can ever ask, think or imagine, He has increased the fruits of our labor to such a point that we are not even eligible for the ATC anymore!!! (I don't think I mentioned before, there is an income limit in order to be eligible for the ATC.) If you are reading this today and you are struggling with the idea of paying for your adoption, just know that if God has called you to do this, He will provide.

Famine In Ethiopia

There is a famine going on right now in Ethiopia. Pictures like this (a 3 year old Ethiopian child weighing less than 10 pounds) make it very difficult for me to stick to this adoption process. I don't understand why it has to be so complicated.

Why can't I just jump on a plane right now, go help the people of Ethiopia and bring all the starving children home with me? Please pray for Ethiopia (and Somalia, Kenya and Djibouti). And please pray for my faith to be continually renewed. I trust in Jesus and I know all things will work together for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose. I pray that in due season, His plan will be revealed.

Ethiopian Orphanages

After being a part of the international adoption world for 2 years now, we have learned that it seems like there is always something going on. The latest news is the closing of many orphanages in Ethiopia. One orphanage closing has definitely been confirmed and there is talk of at least 20 more closings. See the most recent notice from the State Department here

As of right now, largely due to our commitment to be with an ethical agency, our agency is not working with any orphanages in danger of closing. However, our agency does not manage these orphanages directly. Therefore, we are not completely immune to operational problems and concerns that may arise within an individual orphanage. What happens to the children when an orphanage closes? When an orphanage closes, the care of the children must be transferred to another orphanage. This would most likely slow down the adoption process because the orphanage that the children get transferred to may be partnered with a different adoption agency than the one we are working with.

What is going on right now with orphanages closing is a prime reason why it is important to know the mission, goals and values of an adoption agency. The orphanages that are closing right now are being closed by the Ethiopian government because they have failed to provide local humanitarian aid. As you may remember from previous posts, our agency provides a lot of humanitarian aid and has built at least one hospital and school in Ethiopia. The orphanages that are closing were simply serving as a gateway to adopt Ethiopian children out of their birth country. They were not providing help to the people of Ethiopia.

Our agency's main goal is to provide humanitarian aid to the children of Ethiopia and to only use adoption as a last resort. So, I know I might sound like a broken record but most of the events surrounding Ethiopian adoption have pointed to the consequences of unethical agencies. I am not saying it is easy to wait this long for our child, but God has certainly given us peace in knowing that we are trying to do the right thing for the children of Ethiopia.

Secret Thoughts...

Of an Adoptive Mother.



Just finished a great book for adoptive parents. Very easy to read (only took me about a day) but full of so much information. The author does not hold back on her thoughts and emotions throughout the adoption process. If you are an adoptive parent, or a prospective adoptive parent like me, I can almost guarantee that you have had at least one of these thoughts portrayed in the book. This book was assurance that those secret thoughts are normal and okay. Highly recommend.